road to November

21.8.2012 - Jonker Walk

 

rasa nk pengsan sat.. my very first love just contact me for his restaurant openning this Nov!!

 

I supposedly to type this status down at my fb, tapi terasa poyo and malas pulak menimbulkan kontroversi.. eh, bajet artis! poyo and sereyesly not cool ok, phoenix! jadi, aku delete dan terus merangka kat blog neh. at least, nak perasan pun biar aku sorang aje.

 

Sebenarnya, rasa tak percaya sangat yang dia akan contact aku. For all I know, the reason yang i kept holding back to contact him is that our last meeting does not ends well. And when i tried to contact him, it was all too late and i couldn't find any trace of him.

 

10 years now. Oh yes, i have moving on.

 

Yupp, 10 years since our last meeting. i knew, the girl that he knew back then was far different from who i am now. No longer the person with 110% confidence level. No longer the person with a clear vision of what is wrong and what is right.

 

At present, my mind is clouded here and there. Confidence is at stake level. Life... hmm, under construction.

 

There is so many reason for me to see you, not because i want you back or something like that. I'm just hoping to see you for good old times sake. To seek forgiveness for whatever harms i've caused you. and yes, to meet and congratulate the lucky women who wears your ring.

 

And yes, i miss "me".

 

And i sincerely hope to find the lost "me" when i see you. or at least to be remind of. that would be nice. :)

 

So, dear you (which i don't think that you'll be ever read this), i am eager to see you. sincerely. not because you introduces me to Bob Marley- No Women No Cry, or Superman by Foo Fighters, or even Alicia Keys-A Woman's Worth.

 

No my dear. i want to see you so that i can pick up all the good things that i've forever forgotten. and to build up a better me, insyaAllah.

 

"Sorry for sending this email to your company account. It's the only way that I can think of one right now. See you when I see you."

  

So, don't feel sorry.

 

Thank you for sending the mail instead! :) 

UPDATE on 11/1/2013;
p/s: this post is never intended to harm anyone's feeling. This is written based on my feelings at that point of time. and let me highlight it for the benefit of all.. i wrote this post as to express how life has turn me into somewhat i am not a few years back. and no, i didnt meet him..not the proposed day of his restaurant openning..not now.. and i dont even know whether i will ever meet him again. life is full of surprises..and that is the beauty of it! cheers :)