Friday, December 30, 2022

bebel

berat.. tapi ringan
susah nk di agak.. tapi sudah dalam rancangan
bukan riak.. cuma fasih

aku narsis?

Saturday, December 10, 2022

sampai mati

kosong 
tapi penuh 

mencari 
tapi menghilang 

 mencuba 
tapi gagal 

gagal 
cuba lagi 

gagal lagi 
cuba lagi dan lagi 
.

lagi lagi cuba 

sampai mana 
sampai mati 

ini bukan kata benci 
ini rasa hati 

kerana masih belum mahu mati 
kerana esok belum pasti 

makin di tahi 
makin di normalisasi 

kerana masih belum mahu mati 
belum lagi mati

Monday, October 31, 2022

cry

i wanna cry 
so hard so bad 
but i know this is not the end of the road 

 i wanna cry so hard so bad 
to somebody, anybody but can anyone listen without judgement? 

i just wanna cry so hard so bad 
not that i'm asking any help or what 
cause i believe in God's plan 
 
i just wanna cry so hard so bad 
can anyone lend me their shoulder 
 i just wanna cry so hard so bad

Thursday, October 13, 2022

Mak

Sentiasa sayangkan mak 
Tak mampu jadi anak yang baik.. apatah lagi yang terbaik 

Sentiasa jadi barah di hati mak 
 takut meluka, aku menjauh 
paling dekat, tapi paling jauh 
paling bising, tapi paling sunyi 
paling sayang, tapi paling dendam 

 Ampunkan aku mak 
 Mak terlalu berharga 
dan aku tak layak untuk mak 

Maafkan aku yang hina ni mak 
Aku sayang mak tapi aku terlalu hina 
Semoga Allah beri yang terbaik untuk mak kat sini 
dan kat sana

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Low but not lost

Trying so hard not to cry when people genuinely care for us 
 then i look at him he had it more Subhanallah..
for these challenges make us a better human. 
 Alhamdulillah..for these reminder to stay low. 
 Allahuakbar..You are the Greatest.

Thursday, April 14, 2022

13 Ramadhan, 1443 AH

Mengharapkan Ramadhan kali ini penuh erti

Rindu pada anak-anak yang tak sempat melihat dunia

Sedaya upaya menunaikan tarawikh walaupun berseorangan

Menjalani hari-hari dengan penuh kesyukuran


.... simpan cerita dalam hati

moga segala yang kusut akan terungkai

kita serah pada illahi

Sunday, March 13, 2022

pinjaman

 it seems that i am the one who clings to my kids. not the other way around. i wanted them to be with me all the time. Allah, berikan aku kekuatan. aku tahu ini semua pinjaman mu. tapi, aku ini hanyalah hamba Mu yg lemah. seringkali alpa.

It's 2022 (pandemic...what?)

 Salam, this is me journaling again.

Hidup macam biasa. there is its ups and down. At the moment Allah given me time to rest. Seems like this will be my fourth year Allah granted me a time to pause, rest, hibernate or whatever you call it. Cause living as Manisah, sometimes you forget to pull the pause button.

Yes, COVID-19 finally hit me. I am down with Category 2a, with mild symptoms. Still the headache, sore throat and flu lingers now that i got it for 4 days. I had it worst on my first and second day.

I definitely miss my kids. Dah tua nanti, tahulah sape yg jadi clingy mother..huhu. Been isolated from everyone these days. Give me so much time for myself. Sampai aku sendiri jadi takut.

No..bukan takut hantu macam tu. 

But my mind is wild. So wild that i am scared of my own self.

 

An answered prayers

Good morning, husband All those morning feels incomplete If you weren't by my side I'm watching you sleep, stroking your eyebrows an...